Blah.

Every have one of those days where you just want to hang it up? Admit defeat? Ever have one of those weeks? Or months?

If no, I don’t think we can be friends. Sorry.

On a parenting level, things are going just fine. This week, we had our morning of fighting and hair pulling, but it was immediately followed by an afternoon of playing dress-ups and singing impromptu songs about how much they love each other. These kids are just a little too great sometimes.

It’s at the photography level that things are kind of hitting a rough patch right now. I’m not even talking about the whole “having a business” aspect of things. I’m talking about the technical and creative quality of my images themselves. I’m working on it- I’m alternating between reading forum posts and shooting thousands and thousands of images and fiddling with camera settings nonstop and trying out every piece of advice I get, and looking at blog after blog after blog of other people’s beautiful work that IS at the level I want to be at, but the fact remains- I want to be better and I cannot for the life of me figure out how to make that happen. This is in NO WAY some ploy for “ohmygosh, you are such a great photographer, blah blah” type platitudes. I am seriously struggling and having a hard time right now. This morning I texted Nate and told him I decided to become strictly an iphonographer. Slap an instagram filter on that bad boy and call it a day. Just give it up and pay my ridiculous photography school loans every month and try to forget I ever wanted this.

Except I started this 365 project. And I feel like I have quit nearly everything I’ve ever started. And so I should at least keep up with that. But seriously, these issues I’m having are really making me hate life right now.

Guess I just need to watch this video like EVERY SECOND OF MY LIFE.

So as tempting as it may be to launch $5000 worth of photography equipment out the window of my office, I guess I’ll just keep on keeping on. I’ll slog through hundreds of images until I get one that makes me remember why I got into this. Why I love this. That I actually am good at this. Sigh.

Oh yeah, and in case you didn’t notice, I moved the blog. I think I outgrew blogger. WordPress lets me have bigger images!

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