Are they all yours?

Four.

In case you were wondering, four is the number of children you must reach to turn from a family into a circus sideshow.

*based on a highly scientific study that I just completed today while running errands.

Seriously. I knew these comments were coming, I did. I grew up in a massive family, I’ve been hearing them all my life. I am going to have to start adding in extra time to my projected errand completion time, just to be able to not be a big jerk to every single person who stops me. Though the trio of squealing/cooing Asian ladies (who were essentially just ogling my temporarily ample cleavage the top of the baby’s head) was kind of adorable.

But dude, I’m doing it! I’m managing with all four! I mean, I have yet to make a real dinner this week, but hey! Baaaaaby steps.

Monday Nate went back to work, I was content to just make it through the day here at the house. Tuesday we ventured out to the new splash pad (and neighborhood hot spot) in the morning and had a low key afternoon followed by a newborn photo session in the evening. But Wednesday. Wednesday I decided (and the dire milk situation (which made me miss morning coffee not once, but twice) dictated) that a trip out to the store was necessary.

After a stop at the closest coffee shop for a much-needed iced coffee (which I totally forgot to ask them to add sugar to, an oversight I did not notice until I had already driven away and had to remedy by stealing obtaining sugar packets from the gas station, ahhhh reminds me of how we used to outfit our college apartment with paper napkins from Bertucci’s) we headed to a baby boutique to spend a slightly ridiculous sum on muslin swaddling blankets. Then we swung by the consignment store to spend a much more reasonable sum for a much larger pile of non-pink clothing in baby sizes. (I thought I’d be set, because I do have some stuff that isn’t pink, but turns out- most of that is hand-me-downs from my now 14-year-old brother, and since he was born in February, most of it isn’t actually the right size for the season)

Sugar enough for coffee and to fully stock the glovebox for the next time.

I was so emboldened by the resounding success at the first two stores, that I decided to skip the grocery store and go straight for a task that has been on my “I should really get on that” list for some time now.

Bam, baby. I thought club membership came free with your purchase of a car with sliding doors, but turns out you just have to promise to get one within 30 days. Or else they revoke your mom card or something.

So off to Costco we trudged. I was not sure if I was about to make a big mistake, or a huge mistake. But we did it. Strapped the baby into the Ergo, buckled the middles into the cart, and did my damnedest not to run over Fiona as she darted around the front and sides of said cart. After a mostly painless process of obtaining a renewed membership (I actually had a membership once for a hot second, and yes I admit, it was because I used the Kirkland brand shampoo at my aunt and uncle’s house and liked the smell so much that I went and got a Costco membership just to buy that shampoo/conditioner and then never went back because our house at the time was tiny and had less than zero space to store anything bought in bulk. But damn if I didn’t use the crap out of that shampoo and conditioner.) we got a super unhealthy lunch, during which only one kid fell off the bench and cracked her head on the floor so hard it attracted gasps and stares (don’t worry, she was completely ok and easily cheered up with french fries), and then headed into the bowels of the warehouse.

Babywearing and totes nursing while they took this membership photo, natch.

The girls actually did great. Mikey snacked intermittently, which meant I was mostly walking around with my boob hanging out, thank god for front carriers and low cut tops. We wandered through the store, mostly buying fruit and snacks AND MILK FOR COFFEE I mean for cereal and kind of getting the lay of the land. I’ll go back with a list next time. And I’m gonna do some more freezer cooking. I’m going to get good at this crap if it kills me!

Sooo I could only fit a couple things in the “trunk” and had to pile the rest in the front seat.
Long live the microvan!

We ended our day with ice cream because DUH, then piled into the car and headed home, where I quickly realized that bringing even a small Costco run into the house by myself takes a long damn time, and that those assembly lines that my sisters and I used to do to get all the groceries in after my mom would do a Sam’s run were highly efficient.

All told, it was a highly successful day. And hey, lady near the economy size dual pack of salsa? I thought of a response to your comment regarding my brand new baby boy. I didn’t “finally hit the jackpot this time, huh?”. I hit the jackpot EVERY. DAMN. TIME.

jackass.