Still here.

Yesterday I bought a pack of newborn diapers. This seems like a minor, mundane thing. But to me, it seems huge. Because yup, surprise! We’re pregnant. Again. We did the whole facebook reveal thing with our group Doctor Who Halloween costumes; I was a pregnant Amy Pond, Nate was The Doctor, and we made Mikey be a ponytailed Rory. The girls were assorted things of their own choosing- Butterfly Princess, Halloween Witch, and an Elsa. It was a nice Halloween, and of course included my doing things at the last minute even though I’d been so proud of myself for getting an early start. We didn’t really get any pictures on Halloween because we were rushing to get out the door to a party/trick-or-treating but obviously I convinced everyone to dress up again that weekend so I could take some pictures.

Love this quintessential baby brother face, here. Surrounded by his crazy big sisters, and he’s all “WTF, mum. I didn’t even get a legit standalone costume. I’m a prop.”

But back to the diapers. It’s a big deal because things have not been great here. They’ve been busy, of course. Lots of planning, and preparing, and for the first time I actually have all my Christmas shopping done, like DONE, (including stocking stuffers! And candy that I’m reallllllly struggling not to rip into!) weeks before Christmas, it’s actually quite incredible. But as for planning for the actual baby that will be joining us in a matter of weeks? I’ve not really done much. I’ve not been able to, as I’ve spent the last couple months as depressed as I think I’ve ever been before. I don’t know if it’s hormones or winter or stress or what, but yeah, it’s been bad.

So actually buying the diapers (and one set of brandy new newborn sized footy pajamas) is me actually coming to grips with the fact that yeah, there’s gonna be another baby here. And like, soon. And I think that’s a move in the right direction.

And who knows, maybe one of these days I’ll even pick up my camera again.